2 Timothy 2:14-17
Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene…
2 Timothy 2:23-24
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Proverbs 20:3
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
Proverbs 26:17
Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.
Proverbs 26:20-21
For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
Titus 3:9-11
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.
Conflict… something that separates the closest of friends. Many things can cause a conflict or quarrel, and they come in various forms. The Bible has a lot to say about this sort of quarrelling behavior. Proverbs has many verses about conflict and quarrelling, but it is a book of wisdom after all.
There seems to be a huge focus on words having a power and impact. Harsh words can cause a quarrel. This seems evident. This is why kindness is important to practice. It can be hard (coming from a naturally cynical and sarcastic person), but we need to truly understand the impact of our words. A uplifting word can brighten someone’s day and rectify a broken relationship, but a harsh word can destroy a bond that took years to form.
There also seems to be a warning against gossip. Word can spread like a wildfire. You need to keep in mind how you are talking about others. Once you say something even remotely slanderous about another person, the word can spread and get out of control which can cause true hurt to this person. Even if you didn’t mean anything harmfully, there is still great danger is speaking in such a manner.
If you hear something or witness a quarrel, it is good to not add fuel to the flame. Proverbs describes it as passing a dog by the ears (back in those times a dog was not domesticated; there were more akin to dangerous wild animals that people were highly undesired to be around). This image clearly describes the negative aspect of meddling in the affairs of others.
Proverbs also relates quarreling to a fire. Without wood, the fire will cease, but adding more will only cause it to increase. Solomon describes those who start conflicts as quarrelsome, foolish, and hot-tempered. These are all evidently negative words to describe a person who starts and participates in quarrels. We need to be actively considering our actions to make sure that we are not causing the fire of our conflicts to grow larger. Fire is dangerous, and I think that choice of imagery was very intentional to depict the harmful and volatile nature of conflicts. If a conflict arises, we need to be actively trying to douse it instead of causing it to grow.
Finally, there are warning against pointless controversies. These sorts of conversations cause conflict and quarrels which are clearly not helpful for growing closer together. I understand liking to talk about these deeper topics that people don’t talk about often, but if they lead to quarrel, they are not worth it.
The word of the day is la disputa which means dispute or quarrel. Are there any quarrels that you are presently having? How can you move on from this conflict with the other person or people? How have you seen conflict go poorly? How have you seen people move on from a conflict? What are other dangers to a conflict? Share your thoughts, and share this blog with a friend.
Gracia Del Rey 